Essays
Apples And Razorblades
When I was growing up, Halloween was something that was, at best, misunderstood; and at worst, vilified. Christians in the Bible Belt realize no differences between “Satanists” and “Witches,” quickly assuming that they are one and the same. Growing up, Halloween was only celebrated within the safe confines of our church; and if by some stroke of luck that we did get to go door-to-door in our Indiana Jones and clown costumes, our booty would be closely examined for the rumored razorblade within the apple or the poison which could most possibly lace the dark chocolate of a Snickers bar.
My fears were irrevocably shaped by the unresearched minds of Christian leadership, who just assumed that any and all rumors advocated by Jack Chick (holy crap, you’ve got to read this) were true. We were afraid for our lives every Halloween night, afraid that maybe we, by some stroke of bad luck, would be the innocent victim of some human sacrifice concealed by the cloak of foliage and relative distance from well, anywhere resembling urban life.
Thanks Frank Peretti. Thanks Jack Chick. Thanks, assholes.
Monkeys and Evil
One of the unfortunate things with being my friend, a part of my family or a part of my past is that you will soon discover a signed invisible waiver, which you signed, that basically lets me include a single part or all of you within the context of my writings. It happens. Like shit happens. Like life happens. With that being said, I press on.
Killer Pumpkin
Today, I was talking with my stepmother, catching up and doing what sons do. What’s frigging fantastic about such a seemingly boring circumstance as this is that my beautiful parents, in all their naivety and misunderstanding, are very devout Christians in some of the most fundamental of ways. My mother-in-law, on the stark other hand, is Wiccan. A witch. Halloween is her New Year, the most revered holiday of her faith.
And I’m not writing this to exploit the conversation with my stepmother, I love my stepmother. But I won’t pretend that when discussion arises concerning my mother-in-law, the turn of the conversation usually ends up down a dead-end street otherwise known as Awkward Lane. The old assumptions are still flowing like a strong current beneath the ice. When I casually remark that I don’t know how my wife’s mother celebrates Halloween and my stepmother responds that “It’s probably better not to ask…,” I can’t help but think that in the back of her mind, she’s still worried about the old assumptions. The past Christian response to evil or anything masquerading as evil is very similar to a monkey’s response: “I didn’t see it, didn’t hear it, didn’t speak it and therefore, because I have kept evil at arm’s length, evil hasn’t corrupted my life.”
But with a little research, one can quickly discover that such assumptions are ridiculously incorrect. So if our past responses to Halloween have been wrong; what, pray tell, is the correct response to the surname of Jack Skellington’s crown? That small distant suburb known as Halloween town…
Growing Up
Sometimes my wife watches some of the most evil crap to have ever graced the television screen. For example: Kimora and her frigging life in the fab lane. Have you seen that crap? I literally want to stab my eyes out for the sole purpose of “seeing no evil.”
And while I’m at it, I might as well wield my ears shut. Maybe I’ll even scrape my tongue so that I can rid myself of the shame I incurred by just saying her name.
When it comes to evil, we have to be very careful. Evil is a very real and powerful force. It truly shapes the world in ways that can’t be undone by human effort alone. In the Bible, the Apostle Paul makes the observation that even he couldn’t do the right thing and that he simultaneously felt an undeniable desire to do the wrong thing. Evil isn’t isolated to “them,” whoever “them” might be. The opposite of white isn’t black. Evil is in all of us. We are all fallen from grace, every one.
By logical deduction, no holiday is truly evil in and of itself. If you look at the origins of the holiday, you’ll find it began with innocent origins. With the Numinous that C.S. Lewis wrote about in The Problem of Pain. When men didn’t understand the whispered voices in the air. Yet, over time, we have demonized the holiday because we didn’t understand it. Because it involved pumpkins instead of candy canes; championed by monsters instead cute elves and a fat man in a red suede suit.
But seriously. Aren’t we just pissed because the holiday doesn’t celebrate Jesus in some form or fashion? Christianity has overrun every other pagan holiday. Is it too much to ask to let the pagans keep one? Or do we have to sanctify it like a frigging “Got Jesus?” t-shirt. Everyone knows the slogan is “Got Milk?”
What’s with us wanting to Jesusify everything.
Hail The Pumpkin Song
My Wiccan mother-in-law tells me she can read my signs. That from the moment she met me, she knew that I was meant for her daughter. Of course, looking back, one would never be able to tell considering how our first conversation went. Let me replay it for you:
Rita: So Zach, why should Marc and I be elated that you’re dating our daughter?
Me: Elated?
Rita: Yeah, elated. It means happy, excited…
Me: I know what it means.
She’ll tell you that it was what she saw in my eyes, and maybe it was. I don’t know. The point is, she felt that I wouldn’t judge her or her family. That I wasn’t going to run to the hills making the sign of the cross with fear and desperation. You know, like every other Christian who hears the word, “Witch.” When she found out that I was writing this, she stressed that I should have tolerance in what I had to say. Tolerance for every faith. And maybe that’s the answer to this question of what the Christian response to Halloween should be.
Maybe the answer is Wikipedia and Google, where decades of research on anything is only a click away. Maybe the answer is listening and open discussion. Maybe the answer is burning every Chick tract in existence.
And to be honest about it, I think the last option I presented is the correct one.
Here’s what I do know. Pagans and the holidays they choose to celebrate are not rooted in child sacrifice. They’re not out to lace your skittles with hemlock. They’re not out to put glass shards in your apples or hexes on your jolly ranchers.
A Christian response to Halloween and subsequently, Pagans, is to love you’re neighbor as yourself.
What? Are you insane? Jesus advocated this as well? Shut up!
You’re right. I should shut up. But one final note. There is no sin in dressing up. There is no sin in taking your kids door-to-door asking for candy. There is a sin however, in building walls between “us” and “them.” The whole Salem Witch Trials thing? Yeah, that was our fault. In case you haven’t heard, Christmas is also rooted in pagan tradition. So we can have decorated trees, but not jack o’ lanterns. It’s just a little bit hypocritical to draw a line in the sand over something most Christians know nothing about.
So let’s start with that, dear brothers and sisters of the faith. Stop being hypocritical.
The October 24th SynchroBlog includes 26 people sharing their thoughts, their experiences, and their expertise on the subject of “A Christian Response to Halloween” (or at least something remotely connected to that idea.) Perhaps not all the writers are Christian, and that is actually even cooler. Please check out these offerings of love, and gore…uh, I mean lore.
- Phil Wyman - “The Christians and the Pagans Meet for Samhain”
- Lainie Petersen - Our Own Private Zombie: Death and the Spirit of Fear
- Julie Clawson - Trappings of a World in Which we Do Not Believe
- John Morehead - Rethinking Evangelical Postures on Halloween
- Sonja Andrews - Vampire Protection
- Adam Gonnereman - What’s So Bad About Halloween?
- Reba Baskett - Halloween….why all the madness?
- Steve Hayes - Halloween Synchroblog
- KW Leslie - The Christian Harvest Festival
- John Smulo - Hallmark Halloween
- Erin Word - H-A-double-L-O-double-U-double-E-N
- Mike Bursell - Hallowe’en
- Sam Norton - Do Not Be Afraid
- Steve Hollinghurst - Removing Christendom from Halloween
- David Fisher - Vampires or Leeches
- Sally Coleman - Encountering hallow-tide Creatively
- Kay - Halloween: Four Perspectives
- Johnny Beloved - Apples and Razorblades
- Alan Knox - Fall Festivals and Scary Masks
- Dan Allen - Why Christians don’t like Zombies
- Paul Walker - Peering Through the Negatives of Mission
- Sea Raven - The Season of Samhain
- Lew A - Halloween: My experiences
- Timothy Victor - Appropriating Halloween and Creating Liminal Times
- Nic Paton - Making Space for Halloween
- Barb - The Heart of a Child
- Bryan Riley - Bloated Body Parts
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Funny how Peretti’s fiction carries weight in the Christian circle and somehow Stephen King and HP Lovecraft don’t. Perhaps that’s good. I’d hate to wake up with a vision of something out of Lovecraft’s legacy crawling up my leg!
You’ve remined me about Chic Publications and their impact on my early Christianity when … ahem … I was a fundamentalist (please don’t tell my friends). There were Satanists under every bush. Even Roman Catholics were Satanists!
Except, they were all such stealthy beasts. Fitting. Cunning. Can’t see them so they must be real.
thanks for this honest and helpful post- you make some excellent points about our common humanity- and the whole Satanists Witches question over which there is too much ignorance.
its all tradition and fear man. that is what drives us so many times to hypocricy and away from love. sounds like you have a nice mother-in-law. the first time i met my father-in-law he was hoping i would just leave.great post.
-dan
@Tim - didn’t you get the memo concerning Stephen King being Satanic? It was in a Jack Chick tract titled “King?” A story about a wealthy writer who wrote horror fiction only to find out that he would be tortured by all of his own creations in Hell.
@Sally - thank you for your comment, madame.
@Dan - I like the comic strips.
Fear drives the human existence. Thanks Mr. skellington you have given me an idea.
Um if you need help bic-ing your head let me know. I spoke with Mr. Tank and he let me know the secret to the anti-coif.
Johny,
Unfortunately I missed that one but nows the time to catch up
I so wish we could get around fear and superstition and get in touch with what it means to have “the power that raised Christ from the dead” within us. I so wish I could tap into the reality of that myself.
@Daine - Rock n’ Roll. Let’s bic it.
@Tim - I’m sure you already know this, but I made that Chick tract up. If by chance you didn’t know that, then that only serves as a testament to how ridiculous Chick tracts really are. Maybe I should submit my idea to them. Assholes.
I happen to know and Love your monther-in-law. I also happen to be a Christian. I loved your article! I too was raised with the notion that “they” are evil, but aren’t we ALL “they?” I look forward to reading your site often.
@Tas - Rita says your name is Theresa. It’s nice to meet you. And thanks for the compliments.
You are very welcome. I have been reading some of your previous posts and am looking forward to reading more. I read the one on forgiving yourself and I have to say, I was in tears. You seem to have a wonderful gift of love that you can share, I am definatly a sinner here, because of my envy for that. that is such a wonderful gift, and even if the people in your past have wronged you and don’t return the love, Jesus does and that is most important. Some people were not meant to stay in our lives no matter how much we wanted them to. I too have this in my life and it can be devistating at times, but I try to remember the good things from our times together and realize that my life is better now than it has ever been. It sounds to me like yours is too. I know your new family loves you dearly.
I’ve heard such a lot about Jack Chick and his comics, but I’d never actually SEEN one until you provided the link. That’s probably an important educational experience. Thanks!
@Steve - It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Yeah, Jack Chick is the all-encompassing example of what’s wrong with American Christianity. My opinion, anyway.
Once again, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.
Cool. Thanks for the Jack Chick link. Takes me back to simpler - more legalistic days bro.
[…] hallow-tide creatively by Sally Coleman Kay at Chaotic Spirit Apples and Razorblades at Johnny Beloved Fall Festivals and Scary Masks at The Assembling of the Church Why Christians don’t like […]
Zach, you definitely gave me another vantage point this morning. However I am afraid I am going to climb back down the trellis to mine. Remember you told me you would never ban me!
I was raised the majority of my life in a Christian home. We partook in Halloween every year. As well as the Church we attended. (More like churches). It was never posed as a “satanic” day. Although certainly heard the rumors.
It is only recently that I have developed an “issue” with it. About three years ago, I took my, at that time three year old son “tricker treating” as we walked up to a seemingly harmless house, some kid jumps out of the bushes with a ghoulish mask on. There where two reactions to this, my beloved son’s blood curdling scream, and my straight up ninja like mind control that thankfully kept me from assaulting a minor and going to jail. At this exact point something changed in my thought. Since the birth of my son, God has assured this would be a reoccurring event. My awakening.
I believe you are correct in what you say, “There is no sin in dressing up, there is no sin in taking your kids door-to-door asking for candy. There is sin, however in building walls between “us” and “them.” I would only like to add my two cents if I may. We as the Body of Christ must not separate ourselves, nor hang, nor burn at the stake, or douse in hot tar those whom do not believe as we. However, if we do not profess that the glorification of death and the celebration there of, is not acceptable by the standard of God, then we are doing just that. For they will be separated, eternally burning, in agony. The cute, fun times picture of “Halloween” will be no more.
It is our responsibility to speak the Gospel not only by our words, but also, if not more so by our deeds. I assure you in wearing a mask of a “spirit” filled face of death, and bringing honor to such, is not what was spoken of in Philippians Four, verse eight. “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
In saying this, if you can figure out a way to enjoy yourself and be a light as we are also called to do so amongst the world, go for it! This is where we get our “fall festivals” and such from. In these, my son will not be exposed to faces one should never have to see, much less celebrate, for these, are held in reverence of fellowship to honor a different Spirit. The Holy One.
@Joshua - What’s been interesting about this whole “synchroblog” thing is the things I’ve learned about this holiday. Many historians believe that “Halloween” was actually a Catholic holiday. It’s the “harvest festivals” that actually have Pagan origins.
But semantics aside, let’s realize a difference here. Dia de los Muertos is a long-standing holiday in the Mexican tradition where people gather to remember friends or loved ones who have died. It’s very respectful - full of stories about the beloved deceased.
Halloween seems to be a Western tradition that for all intents and purposes, seems rather juvenile in nature. It is not to be confused with “harvest festivals,” which are pagan in origin and it seems ironic that churches today are using the term “harvest festival” to separate themselves form the Catholic Halloween.
But the realization I want to consider is in fact, our execution of the holiday and I think you touched on this point. We can both agree that yes, Halloween is largely misunderstood, and those that choose to celebrate with supposed masks laced with evil intent should be disregarded as outliers in what seems to be an innocent holiday.
But Halloween is the only holiday in our culture that considers the afterlife in any form or fashion. We think about the deceased, and subsequently the spiritual world more on this day than any other. Such a consideration should be with reverence, but instead has grown into the proverbial monster bent on serving us with cheap scares from the bushes and from the movies screens in the form of slasher films.
I agree we should change our execution of the holiday. I think it’s necessary.
May I address Joshua? Perhaps give him a view from the “other side”. I have two daughters. When they were little they also were taken out on Halloween night. There were teenagers and adults who thought that because it was Halloween, they could use the night to lose their control. Not that these same people need a special day to behave badly. Mean, ugly and obnoxious people are in our lives daily at work, at the store and yes, at church. The question is, do you know “who” is behind the scary mask? Maybe it was someone from your church? Maybe not.
I find it interesting that instead of thinking “some parents just don’t teach their children to have some good common sense” and perhaps praying for those parents to receive enlightenment, you see it has a piece of rubber that is more than what it was, a stupid mean prank.
Do you really think that kid thought anything more than being mean to little kids? Do you think that kid gave any thought about a “spirit filled face of death ‘? I’ll bet not.
Why? Because kids are kids and when they are not brought up and are taught poorly, they are mean. Just mean. When they do not have to be accountable for what they do and you see the parents give excuses and defend them, then they are just mean.
I don’t watch scary movies; they are not and never have been allowed in my house. But I’ll bet many people from your church go to see them. I don’t. My Halloween is not scary. And for the record…… I am the mother-in-law that Zach speaks of. All who enter my home are loved. They are embraced and nurtured. I teach respect and tolerance and above all, accountability. You see “we” are not forgiven, we are held accountable for our actions. I do not ask others to believe what I believe. I do not tell others MY way is only way. But I do ask that if you are going to judge, then please do so by being informed correctly. Respect and honor for ancestors, nature, and all living creatures is not done by jumping out from behind a bush with a plastic mask.
I do not ask for understanding. I only ask that I’m not misunderstood.
Mrs. Rita, if I may. Once while hiking the trails with my son in the hill country and coming upon a group doing what seemingly was some sort of important ritual, in nothing but respect, we chose a different route as not to disturb. Trying to answer my son’s questions was no easy task, yet I assure you a word of judgment did not proceeded from my mouth. I certainly did not intend any discord in what I have written. I do respect your view “from the other side”. I however do ask for understanding, so that I may not misunderstand.
I spoke not against the child in the mask, nor of the person who honors the elements, but I speak against the spirit of darkness that is attempting to consume the existence of our souls. He does not do so, by carrying a fire laden pitchfork, nor a broom. He does so, through our ignorance. Myself as well as whomever else who has ever jumped onto wagon of spiritual concession.
Thankfully Jesus Christ knocked me from this wagon three years ago. I will now spend the remainder of my days through His strength, trying to snap the axle of that very wagon. The field may be greener by which it travels, but there is a cliff within its path. To whom no soul should, nor was ever intended to befall.
But seriously. Aren’t we just pissed because the holiday doesn’t celebrate Jesus in some form or fashion? Christianity has overrun every other pagan holiday. Is it too much to ask to let the pagans keep one?
LOL… I think I love you
Hi, I posted some links to this and some Pagan Samhain blogposts at MetaPagan (in the interests of interfaith harmony): Pagans talk about Samhain and Those Christians again!
Happy Samhain and blessings for All Hallows.
[…] Johnny Beloved - Apples and razorblades […]
Wow such differences of opinions on this subject. I think it has been made into such a bigger deal than it actually is. It’s almost like Christmas now….all the rows and rows of Halloween stuff. I’d rather just skip it all together. Not because I think it is a sin….just because I think it’s annoying. If you want to take your kids trick or treating…then take them and if you don’t then don’t but just let everyone decide for them selves what is right for them and their family.
Wow…..maybe I should be the scrooge of Halloween!
: )
You nailed it again my brother. I love the Lord but I still put together a killer Jack Sparrow costume with my daughter as Elizabeth Swann and we went to a party. No human sacrifices no black magic…I particularly enjoyed your note about Christmas…and what about the Easter Bunny???
I liked Yvonne’s comment too…”Christians” need to relax and carve a freaking pumpkin.